a.little.inspiration.

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
-Christian D. Larson

so i just turned 20 on the 28th of Cctober. i'm 2 decades old now, not that any of you really care. and im satisfied with the way things are. I go to school. have a pretty kick ass job, have great friends, an okay love life but that's to be expected.. i have realized how much i have grown as a person. not only physically but emotionally and mentally. i have seen myself mature over the last year and i must say i am proud of the outcome, though i still make plenty of mistakes and still rely on my parents, i am not ashamed at all of where i am. Life has had it's ups and downs, but things change and time always passes on. and that think that you were obsessing over so much doesnt seem as important or as big as you once made it out to be. with that said id say life of right now is decent. i wouldnt say life is great because once you get comfortable you seem to lose sight if whats important. but i wouldnt say life is tough since i know god doesnt dish out what he knows you cant handle.My dream in life is not to be famous, not to be rich, my dream is to be fully happy. where i can wake up in the morning feeling the same exact way i fell asleep... troubleless. Hopefully that'll happen soon. im not sure what direction my life is headed, but I'm searching myself and i hope i find my purpose and meaning in life. i want to be on great terms with my family, i know that we may be a dysfunctional family. but its my family and no matter what i love them. I love my friends and though most times i only keep up with a small group I promise you that i do think of you and care. i want to say that im extremely blunt. but i do usually think before i speak believe it or not. I may sound like a retard most of the times but to me everything i say makes sense and i guess thats all that really matters. im really tired of dealing with peoples crap since i cant seem to manage my own. so when things are bothering you dont beat around the bush and please don't expect me to read your mind,and play silent and lie that every things okay when they really arnt. i wont drop everything to be there with you all the time. not unless you would do the same for me. which i know only a few actually would. though i may not call you or ask to hang out, trust me I remember you. i might just simply say "you have my number why the fuck didnt u call me?" it goes both ways friendship.. its still a relationship and both people have to be willing to give a little more than they get. but i promise you once u get to know me youll either want me to shut up and leave or love me and never let me go. I also know that sometime i can be alittle obsessive with things and over analyze. but this is who i am you either love me or hate me. but proudly i can honestly say that i am a really good friend, i try my best to be non-judgmental. i always usually give you the benefit of the doubt. and even if you hurt me i will always be giving people second chances. im sure that none of you could ever do anything that would make me hate you, or dislike you in any way.unless you intentionally hurt me, force me into drama i dont want, or some other bull shit that i dont need to be apart of. you my friend can never ever do anything that would make me doubt you. All I have to say is that i require people to be nice. Show me that you have kindness in your heart. and that you know how to be humble. i am happy to say that from almost one year ago i have made many changes in my life to make me a better person. though at times i may find my self in a situation and i get depressed from things small or big or maybe no apparent reason. I always bounce back. I will admit that sometimes I get selfish. and i don't think of others before myself. im trying to grow into a better person.I really respect those who can and hope I can learn from them. Now all I wish for is to become a good person, live a good life with good friends and just be happy.

on to the third decade...things can only go up..
night peeps
your part time lover and ful time friends
gnelle